From Michigan With Love: Notes and Musings of a Toll Booth Operator

It's about 8:30am on a Sunday in July. We've got beautiful Michigan weather this morning. It is humid, muggy. The sky is blue but lightly glazed over with a layer of cloud, so it is a light, but bright, blue-gray.

The trees I tend to take for granted, but they are vibrant green. Just like my own skin which after time in the sun turns smooth and soft and a deeper color, so do the tree leaves. They radiate with healthful color, full of photosynthesized nutrients.

People have been coming into the park in streams, even at this early hour. That's what summer does. I am amazed at the ability, drive, discipline, eagerness and enthusiasm  that every one of these individuals exhibit. They are motivated people, and they are full of life. Who else would drag themselves to thhe park so early in the morning? A number of them even biked in, so they had to get up extra early to stretch that spandex over their bodies.

I love saying good morning to everyone who drives slow enough past me, and has their window down.

"Morning."
"Good mornin'."
"G'mornin'"

And then I think about our specific location in the world, and how we speak so casually, using this universal greeting, but we speak with a Michigan accent (you know, some variation of that Northern accent that we share with Canadians, among others).

But heere we are, right here in small town Michigan. We feel normal and like we could, and be as well be, anywhere, but our accent gives us away.

"I'll get an annual pass please"
"Great," (I say with emphasis on a long, sharp A: grAt),"Can I put it on your car for ya?" The 'ya' makes this question sound more casual, and flowy than pronouncing 'you' which takes longer to say and more enunciating.

I love working mornings at the park. This is heaven on earth. This is paradise, you don't need to go to California to find it.

The sunlight is soft. The world is slow. "Stay cool," an early morning disc golfer greets me, and dispells his well-wishes onto me. Lots of the folks coming in are going to play disc golf before it gets unbearable hot and humid out there.

Lots of other folks are coming to walk, walk their dogs, bike or blade around the trails. Luckily, I get to see the phenomenon in action, as a section of the trail is only about 20 yards away from the booth.

And lucky me, I get to greet each and every one of them as they begin their outing, their adventure, their encounter with the wild. The horse flies are as rough as things get here:

"Well;" says a patron as he stops by the toll booth on his way out. He pauses as he wipes the  sweat off his neck with his t-shirt in his hand, "The horse flies got  their breakfast today." I burst out in a laugh. Unsure of what to say, I cry, "Great!" As he speeds away. Off to start the rest of his day.

But I saw some bunnies, and deer this morning. And the ground squirrels who live in the field at the front of the park are fascinating to observe.

Friday

I love all of the old-fashioned, vintage, craft oriented blogs. But I wonder, is there a way to engage in this sort of aesthetic pastime without materialism being central?

Sunday

It's hard to write about things when mostly all I do is go to work. Things in my life seem to become repetative and uneventful. I know this is not true and more likely an excuse, but I am also just lazy :p

I found myself in the fortunate position to watch the sunset tonight. It just ended a few minutes ago and I feel so peaceful. Ahhhh

The sunsets are so beautiful from our front door, let me explain. Our door and the window next to it look out onto the row of townhouses across the parking lot, but above the long row of houses I can see the sunset, and every evening that I am here I love to watch the colors of the sky change. I can't see the sun, that is out of view, on the left of the house; but the colors of the sky above the scape of neighbors is marvelous.

I also love to people watch, and I love having my neighbors right there with me. It makes me feel less alone (in fact, I don't feel alone at all), I feel like I'm part of a group. The brightening sky contrasts with the darkening of the housefronts.

Today layed on the couch, which is in the perfect position to lay on and look out the window, I had some hot NightyNight Tea in my hands, and this Brian Eno song called "Stars" playing on the computer. The song is 8 minutes long, and when it ended, I took a deep breath, relieved by the sudden stillness. Then I could hear the birds chirping, neighbors opening and closing their doors, talking, children shrieking, and the highway that is just beyond our little nook of houses. The highway noises are amazing, because though it is a constant sound of moving traffic, it is more. It is the sound of many individuals traveling. Each burst of engine rumble and the rush of a truck is the sound of someone going somewhere, somewhere big, because that is what the highway is there for. Some are going to the grocery store, or home from work, but some are going to Chicago. The trucks are traversing the country, back and forth in spurts. It's beautiful. It's enormous, and I am with them, witnessing their stressful travel, full of pressure (at least thats what driving on the highway is like for me), but with none of the pressure, only the joy of moving foward.

PaperBack Swap

Hello Everyone!!

I've been working so much lately, hardly time to sit down and explain my days full of learning. The main project I'm working on, which is only a side project, is my newspaper clippings. I'm going to start scrapbooking them. I'm not sure where to start though! I've never scrapbooked before. I kind of want to get some of those pretty pages they have at the craft store, but I'm just going to do it all from scratch.

I have a large paperback (9"x11"ish) on The Indus CivilizationThe Indus Civilization: A Contemporary Perspective unfortunately Amazon doesn't have a photo for the cover of this book, but it looks a lot like this one

Same guy/statue, but facing the other direction. I used this book for an archaeology class I had on ancient civilizations so I wish I could tell you who this statue is of and why he is on 2 different book covers, but I have no idea. Hahah
The teacher of this class was so dry and boring! She was not enthusiastic at all. The subject matter was repetative, she talked over and over in a list sort of way of what each civilization had. They had houses that looked like this, they had beer factories that looked like this and were called this...

But from this class I gained the realization which is still hard for me to fathom, that people lived exactly like we do, in a world/ society/culture that is just as in depth and complicated as ours (sure they didn't have computers, but they lived in just as complex societies). The people in these societies had fully functioning brains just like us here, and it's so incredible to imagine that societies develop over and over again. For example, Mesopotamia is supposedly the first civilization to have risen, while over on the other side of the globe (Mesopotamia is right where Iran and Iraq are) the South American civilzations rose up. It's just amazing that it's human nature to create societies, build houses and have certain rituals (holidays), as well as large scale spectator events like football.

Anyway, I have this large size book that I think will be perfect for making a scrapbook collage in. I'll probably remove some of the pages so I have more space to work with and less weight. I'm not sure the best way to go about that. I think that will be time consuming. Actually, maybe I'll just cut a chunk out, and that will be fine.

Besides that, actually, I haven't really had time to sit down and read this past Sunday's paper. Maybe I will do it today. I signed up for a book swap website called paperbackswap.com. It's really awesome! I loaded my book titles into the system, and people immediately began requesting my books. It's quite time consuming, actually. What's really neat about this site is you don't have to bother with weighing out the books and estimating the postage, it does all that for you and for me it makes it so much more simple! What a relief. But the hard part is wrapping up the books to send off, that is difficult, 'specially taping the corners. I'm going to send off some books today and I guess wrap more also. When I send them off, I get credits on the site which allow me to request any book from anybody on the site and they will send it to me for free. I spent a lot of postage though, it's surprisingly expensive, but since it's just postage and I get free books in return, that's ok with me. So this is very cool. I still think the library is the best place to get any book to read, but this is good if you want to write in it and keep it, or a place to find books you might not find in the library.

Sunday

Yesterday was a perfect day. The only thing that could have made it better was if the sunset was more vibrant (not really an issue). It was a wonderful day!! It must have been the sun, or the rewarding feeling of getting to relax and do exactly what I want after a long week at work.

I work at 8:30 and got my Sunday New York Times. I listened to the Pacific Island music program on WCBN where they played gamelan and the like. Then at 10 I switched the station to WEMU to listen to Dr. Arwulf and the Sunday Best. At the end of the program he made me feel so good by saying, "It's a good day to be alive. Aren't you glad you're in your skin? I'm glad you're alive." I felt so wonderful after that, and after listening to Fats Waller. This whole time I was reading the NYT. I've been keeping my little widdling knife that dad got me for the birthday while I read the paper, and when I see a phrase or picture that I react to, resonates with me, inspires, motivates, validates or I find beautiful I cut it out. Not sure what I'm going to do with it yet. A collage seems in order, or maybe putting them all together as a story would be funny. Suggestions?

Mom and her friend came in and we talked for a little while, and now I am looking into raising peacocks (or other various bird eggs that I can make a profit off of), saffron and cardamom. I think local saffron would be a hit around here.

I started to get tired in the afternoon so I allowed myself the indulgence of a nap. I layed on the couch and turned on TCM where the movie Dear Heart was playing. Great movie! I recommend it!














I tried to read some books but to no avail. I decided to check off another task on my to-do list: ironing. I have so many clothes I've never ironed but have always needed it. I set to it, on the floor in front of the TV where I watched Tammy and the Bachelor. Very interesting movie in the way she spouts about god all the time. It's set in the south. Not many movies at all are set in the south today, so that was interesting. It's just a silly light hearted film about an amazing girl and romance.











Ironing a laundry basket of clothes took about 4 hours! Wow. But it was great. I watched great movies, and the color of the sky change from day to dusk to night. Between dusk and night I took a quick rollerblade around the neighborhood. That was great! I'm excited to do more and use my blades instead of a bike. I didn't even fall last night, though there were some close calls.

Finally, right before bed I did some yoga and that felt great!

Viewing A Person from the Past

Call me morbid, but while watching this video about Victorian Post-Mortem photography a thought occured to me which I have occasionally thought before.

Seeing photos of specific people who were as complex and dynamic as you or your best friend are today, but who died over 100 years ago, just makes me think about them and their lives.

I can look at a picture and see a person, but to really know and understand that they are a complex human being is a whole other concept, particularly if they are from another and completely separate time period from us today.

Even more, it is difficult to imagine a still image of a person as dynamic and contradictory as you or me, but especially a person who lived so long ago.

I mean, if you see a photo of a person from within the last 50 years, you'll recognize them as being similar to you (at least in what they are wearing), but if you see a picture of someone in a context that you cannot use your own experience and social knowledge to process what you see, then they are even less of a real person because now they are an anonymous face; a historical object which we can use to understand the time, and it is that much harder to derive any understanding of the person.

In fact, the fact that this person was once a real person doing the same thing that I am doing now is very incredible. That that time was all they knew, and this time is all I know, is equally as mind blowing. And that I now know them, but they will never know I caught a glimpse of them. Yet in the present times, when we see a picture from the past, we tend not to see the person in the photo anyway.


















Anyway,
I didn't intend to meditate on that when I found the video, what I was looking for was tips on how in the world I can dress up like Victorian.

Cruising

This week is the first really nice week since winter came. It's been between 30-60s during the day, rather than between 0-30. It was like a switch was flipped, and suddenly the sun moved in closer to Michigan, and so the birds started chattering and chirping and Spring began.

Well my mind is on fire with books I want to read, and things I want to learn about, and hands-on creations I would like to make. I've been on Youtube recently, and there are some videos I'd love to sit down and watch, but for some reason, I feel like watching videos online is a waste of time so it's hard for me to sit down in front of my computer and do that. I think it is just that I don't like to stare into screens for long periods of time. I feel like it is better to be involved in the 3-D world that I can touch.

Right after I got home from work today and was settling down for a day of doing some of the things aformentioned, my friend Sophia called me to whisk her away from the bustling streets of downtown Ann Arbor so we could perhaps get our hair braided (just about 10 braids, scattered about). My mom really wanted the car washed and vacuumed today, so I got Sophia, and we veered off down a major avenue in Ann Arbor/Ypsilanti called Packard, into Ypsi. Ypsilanti is the forgotten brother of Ann Arbor, in a sense. It's got it's own thing going on, with less ego, but they're similar places because the both have universities, and nice downtowns with lots going on. Ypsi is just less yuppy. They also have lots of hair braiding salons. Did you know that this hair style comes from Africa?

We strolled down Michigan Ave., a main street in Ypsi with lots of cute and practical little shops. This street is also known as US Route 12 does not just take you across lower Michigan, but across the whole northern US! Wikipedia link  One day, maybe even soon, I hope to travel the whole highway. That would be incredible. No one thinks of these states or this route too much. The northern US isn't too popular as a whole; not like Route 66 or I-75 which takes you through the Southern states to Florida; nor is it popular like coastal highway routes through New England. It's not even as well known as the well traveled Grand River Avenue (which also runs across Michigan)! At least it's not as well known to me. And I think it is because no one really cares to venture cross all the cold, desolate states of the north, and it's not as glamorous as California.

Notes from On Being 3/13/11

http://being.publicradio.org/programs/2011/asteroids/

astronomy is based on a human hunger, or need, to know whats out there.

the universe has existed for one year, humans for two minutes and science for one second.

http://www.howellnaturecenter.org/challengeprograms/challengeprograms.htm

christianity does not begin with faith but with experience...
Science does not begin with logic but with intuition... you have  to take a leap and see where it leads you. it may or may not be right


faith is love. its not there once and for all like a rock for support

the opposite of faith is certainty, you dont need faith if you know for sure

Musicking Like it's My Job

Lately, I have been trying to listen to more music and less NPR/talk radio. I am under the impression that music is something that a person needs, just like sleep and water. Or maybe the way people need music is more like the way they need exercise. It's important, but it does not seem essential, until you realize how good it makes you feel.

The question here, though, is: is musicking (music is a verb, it's never a static noun when we talk about it) more important than being informed? I guess the easy answer is that, though music does not pinpoint each day with new headlines and highlights, it is still informative. Music acts as a filter through which we interpret our life, the day to day world that a person inhabits.

So you won't know the answer to the news quiz, but you will feel better everyday you music. Music makes us feel important, because it provides 1. something to identify with 2. if we identify with it, is is also a form of self-expression, when you express yourself, you assert your individuality, when you assert your individuality, you express the fact that you are alive, you are here, you are important. Yes! I think that makes sense.

How important is being informed of current events as compared to other forms of creative expression? Is music essential for humans?

Interestingly, I am not listening to music right now, though I keep thinking to turn the radio on (oldies 104.3 please!). The problem is that I can't focus on music and writing at the same time unless it is purely creative, then I can meld the two.

There is a big push from people these days to keep music education in schools and emphasize it's importance for youngsters. Why does it really matter though??

It's important, no doubt, as a cultural institution that risks being left to only the ambitious or privileged kids. But it's an aspect of life that deserves to be explored by everyone (which will be harder to maintain as children become busier with math and science) so they have the traditional knowledge.

By traditional, I mean that people have been playing music and making it part of their regular life for centuries, and training, before formal schooling was a part of life, was learned from other folks. In this way, music in schools is essential because it is part of our heritage, it is a folk knowledge. If we lose that, we may lose part of our traditional cultural identity, and our history. On the other hand, though music seems formalized, go to Indonesia and then see that their formal knowledge of music is totally different, because it comes from a different lineage of folks!


Check out this video: Gamelan Ensemble on Youtube it will blow your mind! It's traditional Indonesian court music, originating in ancient times. It's so extraordinary! I love this stuff. It taps into just the right spots in my brain. When I hear this stuff it's like a finger pushing a button on the tense spots in my head, and all the stress and tension just melts away.

But then part of me stays tense, and thinks, is it weird that I like this stuff so much? Why do I like these sounds when they are so different from "normal" Western music? I think it is the fact that it is different, enlightening, and the bells! Perhaps gamelan music helps me to pull up a part of my identity that I don't see much when I listen to familiar music...

Here is a book by Judith Becker, an anthropologist at the University of Michigan, about the gamelan music and the meaning of it in Indonesian's lives. I had to read a section of this book for a class called the Anthropology of Music, and it blew my mind. She gets into some really interesting stuff about about consciousness. I'm starting to feel dizzy just thinking about it! Wow.

Here, through Google Books, you can actually look through the book! Just read the beginning of the introduction, and you'll see what I'm talking about.

So, clearly, music is part of the human experience, otherwise it wouldn't be such a big industry, and people would not have created it in just about every society, if not every society. There is a lot to say about music too, that's why so many people are scholars of it.

For me, I make a point to music like it's my job because if I don't, I believe that I will become rigid, or closed off from a part of me that can exist, and add to my overall well being.

It doesn't make sense to me that kids listen to music all the time, and are excited about it, and then as we grow older and busier, that passion for tone,s and identification and validation through lyrics slips under the rug. That don't make no sense! We must just be too busy. Our priorities become practical rather than explorative. We are no longer bright eyed and bushy tailed, we know everything we need to know (not). We simply become set in our ways, we know who we are and what we need to know, and if we don't then we ignore that facet of our complex beings.

I was listening to Wire Tap with Jonathan Goldstein a couple of weeks ago. That is a crazy funny program on NPR that comes from Canada. One of the skits was about Jonathan's friend who was telling him about how he took very early retirement, from being unemployed. Very funny stuff. But he said, "there's a lot to be said about the lost art of looking out the window." That resonated with me because now I feel like I'm not the only one thinking it! I feel like music fits in this area of life. We've forgotten why it was every important.

                                           "Schmelvis: In Search of Elvis Presley's Jewish Roots" by Jonathan Goldstein and Max Wallace

Personally, I feel compelled to stay busy and productive, particularly because I am unemployed (partially), and I feel guilty that mom goes off to work every day and I get to stay home and relax. That's not fair, and so I feel less guilty about not pulling my weight in society by keeping myself busy and trying to stay productive. I wonder though, is that necessary? If productivity means to better oneself, and progress, maybe it is not the same thing as staying busy. Productivity does not equal busy-ness. I can further myself by ruminating, meditating, so I can cultivate my self rather than my external product. Music fits in here.

Is this too spiritual? Music fits into other practical aspects of life too! I swear, but it comes down to this deep stuff, I believe.

Music loosens us up, it gives us sounds to live our life by, it puts us in the mood, it pumps us up! It makes a gloomy day sunny (or a sunny day gloomy, if that's what you're into), but usually only if you're feeling the rhythm.

What can be said about the feeling a person gets when they hear music they don't identify with? The kind of music that you just really want turned off? I used to feel that way in Mr. Pawlowski's algebra class in 12th grade. During our math tests, he would turn on his stereo and play the smooth jazz radio station. haha! I hated that, but then I started to like it... I feel the rhythm.

This shows that music can make us tense, and that it adds to our life only if we identify with it. Music we identify with is a form of self expression, and in order to get the most out of life and to feel like individuals; simply to feel important, music allows us to satisfy that basic need. Dig it!

I've just remembered that DJ Spooky has had stuff to say about what music is and it's importance. Neat!


Now I just want to finish real quick with some reasons why kids (those who haven't lost the way) think music is important:

“I think music is important because music is a way that people can express themselves and if people couldn’t express themselves there would be a lot more violence in the world.” – A. S.

“Music, without it there would be silence, less joy, and darker times.” – B. S.

 “Music puts the life and excitement into the world.  Music is a part of my everyday life, from the radio in the morning to chorus and band class at school.  Without music, I wouldn’t be who I am today. – S. P. 

“I play a lot of video games, so I hear a lot of music with it.  I may not notice, but the music provides more depth to the situation.” – M. M.

 “Music is important to my life because it makes dancing and singing a lot easier.  It also makes life interesting and hardcore!” – E. C.

 “Music is important to people’s lives because it makes things better when things aren’t going right in the world.” – T. M. 

 “Music isn’t important in my life, it IS my life.  From flute, to piano, to guitar, it pretty much controls my life.  In the case of the world, it unites it with happiness and continues and tells histories of civilization.” – S. P. 

“Music is important in my life because music has cool beats, and music is fun and keeps me happy.” – R. M.

 “Music is so much a part of my life that I don’t know what I would do if there was none.  The world is greatly changed by music.  People don’t notice, but music changes people’s moods, feelings, and even their actions.” – M. H. 

“Music is very important in my life because I worship God when I play at church, and because it takes me away from doing stuff that is bad.” – K. B.

 “Without music, there would be nothing to do.  There wouldn’t be video games, TV shows, or concerts to go to.” – M. P. 

“When I am feeling bad, it helps me not feel bad.  Music is important in life because you need it for your national anthem.” – A. V.

http://www.aasd.k12.wi.us/madison/Music/Band/important.html 

Planting and Fake Flowers

I've been staying at my dad's house since Thursday. Wednesday night my bellydance class was on Spring Break so my mom kindly drove me out to Laura's house so I could check out Trivia Night at Stout, the Irish pub in Brighton. I joined the Young Turks team for the evening, and though I didn't play a big role in winning the rounds, I had a lot of fun! Too bad I don't have a car or moped so I can't come out to trivia nights more often. I suppose I will have to find some in Ann Arbor. The other problem is the fact that I have just resigned myself to staying in most nights.

Lately I've been reading about gardening, as Spring is quietly sneaking up on us. This year I am going to have a garden, and I want to make sure I do it right which includes starting my seeds early enough.

I decided that container gardening would be the best option for me, in addition to the flower beds at mom's. I want to order some Michigan wildflowers, the butterfly mix, which goes for $10/oz at the Michigan Wildflower Farm. Here is another great michigan wildflower resource:
http://www.wildflowersmich.org/

From my reading, however, I learned that potted plants don't use soil because it is very heavy and not porous or nutritious enough for the root of potted plants! Instead, you need something called potting mix, shown below
or you can make your own out of vermiculite (or perlite or sand, but vermiculite seems to be the best way to go), peat moss, and fertilizer such as Osmocote, a slow release fertilizer and limestone, which balances pH levels. This is necessary because certain plants need more or less acidic or alkaline soil. I found this information at this really clear and to the point info sheet:

http://consumerhorticulture.psu.edu/files/homemade_potting_media.pdf


I'll probably just buy a ready made mix because I don't want my potting medium in bulk, nor do I want to spend that much on buying the ingredients.

I need to look for pots though, as well as germination pots. Mom wants me to do a little bit of fake  flower arranging inside our house, so I'm really excited to have to go buy some flowers for that. I'll take a picture when I'm done. It's going to be an exciting challenge.

I have a few other craft projects in mind such as attaching beads, feathers or paint to some little hair clips I have; collaging; knitting; sewing pockets to the inside of my winter jacket and my Northface zip-up, a project I found in ReadyMade magazine and I also want to make a travel journal out of the scraps I brought back from my time in Maine.

Thursday

On Thursday the snow really started to melt, now on Saturday morning, there is not hardly any snow left at all. It is refreshing.

The weather was weird on Thursday, I describe it as muddy. It was a brown, squishy day on the ground. I read in the morning, then Laura gave me a call to tell me I could come and get my scarf (the French one that Sister bought me) that I'd left at her house last Saturday.

I stopped at the People's Food Co-op on my way out of town so I could pick up ingredients to make Baked Oatmeal. It was a recipe that mom found, it supposedly came from the Amish, and she thought sounded good. I was going to try and healthify and veganize it (adding extra nuts and seeds, taking out the cows milk and eggs), but mom didn't think that sounded good.

I bought the ingredients in the bulk foods section, and I brought my own containers. I love doing that, and there are a few reasons why:
*saves on packaging (the energy required to make it, and the waste of throwing it away)
*bulk is fun because you get to pick from a variety of products and choose the amount that you want. I suppose I always get an "I did it!" feeling, it's a sense of self sufficiency.
*You get to choose your own packaging. You can keep all your bulk-bought goods in clear glass jars.
It was a calm day for me, I was coming down with a cold, and the muddy weather just made me feel kind of strange, but the drive out to Brighton was lovely, and a route that I do not venture on very often, not having my own car and all.


I listened to this song right before I got to Laura's - Suite Judy Blue Eyes by Crosby Stills Nash and Young. The final part of the song makes this one of the best songs of all time. Haha, in fact, in this youtube version I linked above, the person precedes this ending with the text, "here comes my favorite part!" It's that good.
It's beautiful, and deep. I'm still not quite sure that I get the message.

I got to Laura's, and fatefully, luckily, I had grabbed my yarn and crochet hooks, and Laura had grabbed hers from her mom's house that very morning as well! We proceeded. I got to teach her some stitches. I hope I taught her well enough that she understands and remembers them. But it seemed to me that she knew what she was doing.



Laura had to go to work in the afternoon, and I had to head back to Ann Arbor to pick mum up from work at 5. Karen invited to me to go to her yoga class at the CCRB so I did, it was only $7 and good for my health. It was hard! The teacher was kind of a hard-ass, with a smoker's voice and boot camp attitude: "I can't hear you! That must be you need it to be harder!"





I woke up the next morning feeling achy in my muscles and sick! But first I baked the baked oatmeal in the morning, and repotted my strawberry baby and little Madagascan Palm. Those plants have been needing that. The base of the palm sprout was getting skinnier than the top, which is not a good sign. So yesterday it was finally warm enough to step out onto the porch and play with dirt. This morning they are both looking fabulous, and I even new little leaves on both plants! Good job guys!

I layed on the couch for almost the whole day, and then I went up to bed and fell asleep before 9pm, listening to NPR. Thank goodness I didn't have to listen to On Point (which comes on at 9). No, I like that show sometimes, but I'm just not that interested in politics.

Yesterday I also caught up on some blog reading. My favorites are the DIY craft blogs, and the people who post old pictures of women so I can see what I would have worn if I lived back then, and how to recreate the image now.

Just Passing Through

 I've got an idea, since I haven't been very good at updating lately. I'm taking a que from Kerry Bradshaw in Sex and the City where I will write more complex updates over the course of a week, and I'll post once a week, around Friday. This will allow me to explore more complex ideas and write more multi-facted entries, by building on a theme all week long rather than summing things up like a list. I aspire to be a journalist and write articles for the public, so that is why I am going to write more like a journalist on here. :)


Matt Kelley, one of my greatest and most generous teachers passed away on Monday. He contributed to the way I view the world in a big way. He loved photography, retro aesthetic, good movies such as Shaft, and rock n roll.


One way that I think of death, no matter how a person passes or how young, I think that when they die, it is their time to go. It's deeper than that, I believe that when they die their soul is used up, wrung out, like a wet sponge, like when you start crying and then you stop and you don't need to cry anymore, or when the clouds are heavy with moisture and it rains and the clouds are gone. I believe our lives and our souls are the same way, everyone has a capacity. Everyone can only wring out the amount of soul that is in them. Soul's come in different sizes, and some people fulfill their soul capacity quicker, like Matt. I believe he really utilized his soul. But that is just my opinion, let me know if you find it offensive, I would like to be enlightened to another POV.

This is a hard topic to follow up, because it feels like simply dismissing a person's whole life, and I don't want to do that (because he was and always will be an incredible man), but I also want to tell you about the rest of my week.

Yesterday morning I settled into my couch to read Intertwined Lives: Margaret Mead, Ruth Benedict and Their Circle by Lois W. Banner. It is a great book, I am learning so much from Ms. Banner about young women and their culture and lifestyle from the late Victorian era up til the 1920s so far. It's absolutely fascinating, and part of what is fascinating is the fact that social norms really are very fluid because they were so different just 100 years ago!
The culture of Smashing or Crushing, for example, was where girls engaged in semi-romantic (bosom buddies) relationships with each other, and the strange part is that this was not considered homosexuality but a healthy way to keep girls away from boys before marriage!

Bahrain is an Island Monarchy

Have you heard of Bahrain and the people's uprising there? It has a very rich entry in Wikipedia, and it led me to an article about the Black Stone (pictured above in a 1315 illustration). This Stone is fascinating because the belief surrounding it pre-dates the Islam religion and continues through today, that people come to see on pilgrimage to Kaaba (I haven't read up on what Kaaba is yet, though it is the place where the Black Stone is).

 The uprising's that are spreading across the Middle East and into Italy are incredibly inspirational to me. I am very moved by the momentum of it all, and how people are willing to stand up to corrupt dictators/regimes for a chance at freedom. They are mostly young people, they say on the news, who don't understand the complexities of life or economies in these countries where the dictators hold things together, but in Egypt they were not just young people, and not just poor people either. And if they are just young people in Bahrain and Libya then that is ok, because even though they are naive, they are also the people with enough hope and idealism to change things for the better. Reality of the everyday has not squashed, oppressed and molded them yet. But they are not just young people.

As for me--
I work on the weekends only, at minimum wage mind you, so I have the whole five-day week free (cross your fingers). I don't need to work full-time right now because I have to pay only to support my wants, and I try to keep them minimal (although I really could use help sticking to a budget, and with investing my dollars).

This morning I woke up at 7am and I proceeded to make crepes from a recipe my French sister Laura emailed to me. I used rice flour rather than wheat because I'm going gluten-free, I also used hemp-milk just for the heck of it, but I did use eggs as the recipe called for. next time I am going to use flax seeds instead of eggs: 1 egg = 1TBS flax seeds (ground or whole) mixed with 3 TBS water and mixed until gelatinous.

It was difficult figuring out how long to wait before flipping the crepes, but it would have been easier if I read Laura's directions first, "flip when the edges are golden brown." I started doing that and it worked perfectly, though I think they're just a tad too golden brown on the bottom.

Suddenly while I was making the crepes, I was reminded of being back in 7th grade when Jessie and I made crepes to represent our country for some activity. Everyone had a country and had to bring in food from that country. We had Ireland and found that they ate crepes there. I just remember being in her kitchen, and ending up with this huge bowl of a watery mixture when her mom stepped in and made the crepes for us because whatever we made were not crepes, haha.

Now I'm getting hungry again so I think I'll lightly steam some broccoli add lemon juice (mmm) and maybe a little shredded cheese and wrap it up in a crepe! Yum!

After that, I might see what movie is on TCM now... maybe! I know that I should definitely go outside because the high is in the 40s today!! Crazy warm compared to last week when it was like 04 degrees out. I feel I should spend one hour outside, walking on trails or sidewalks but we'll see...

I have some books I'd like to read as well. Maybe start a new craft project.

Finally, later I have bellydance class at 8:05pm.

***

I spent almost the last week at Dad's, and when I am there I feel like I can let myself out of the tight self-school and health food shaped box I have put myself into. This means that I snuggle up under the electric blanket on the couch in front of the tv and I watch old movies and E! and the Food Network.

I was not completely unproductive however, I set-up the wireless internet at his house, which was simple if you follow the step by step directions they give you, and if you have all the information that you need. I also did thread crochet from the book that Grandma sent me. I made a coaster.

I've been sick the past couple of days, so I watched a lot of good old movies on TCM, because they are showing award winning films from the past. Some that I really enjoyed were:
"The Goodbye Girl",

 Richard Dreyfuss was pretty good in this movie, while Marsha Mason was not the most beautiful leading lady. I know, I that is a cruel thing to say; what is beauty anyway? Her character just didn't make me root for her is all.

"A Free Soul" (1931) with Clark Gable, Norma Shearer, and Lionel Barrymore. This movie was made in the first few years of talkie films, and presents the cold and airy houses of the Victorian era and the tension with the freedom found through Women's Liberation movements of the Roaring Twenties and before then. In the film I was surprised with Norma's flirtatiousness with her father, it was somewhat incestuous in appearance and made me uncomfortable! However, i liked their openness and closeness to each other, and this is an OK thing, but different than I'm used to.

                                   (Norma and Clark, he's a rebel tough guy in the film)

What Norma was wearing in this scene I thought would pass, no questions asked, as fashionable today in 2011, except the gloves, but lets bring gloves back! I don't understand the etiquette and fashion surrounding them, but I'm sure with time you figure it out. Hm... Anyway, it's interesting that something fashionable in 1931 could be equally so today.

I'm reading a biography about Margaret Mead and Ruth Benedict right now, and they are graduate students in the late 1920s, so about the same time this movie was produced. The idea of being a free soul was widely thought about in American society back in this era. So this movie was not a completely random idea, but was contiguous with things that the masses were pondering in this era. So, if you are to ever see this movie (but this goes for most movies, really) consider it an insight into what sort of thoughts were going on in the minds of the me's and you's 80 years ago. 

I watched two Woody Allen movies:

"Radio Days" - is so funny! And I remember it from watching the Carmen Miranda clip in one of my American Culture classes called The Latin Tinge about Latino music, it's origins and influences with Jesse Hoffnung-Garskoff.

After that was another Woody Allen movie I haven't seen called "Hannah and her Sisters" which my boyfriend Bryan summed up very well substituting me and my sister Laura for the sisters in the film.

He said, "I'm Michael Caine and I'm leaving you for Laura because I realized I'm in love with her" but then in the movie Michael Caine goes back to Hannah because the other sister who he was cheating with dumped him because he took too long to leave his wife Hannah, and then he realizes how much he really does love Hannah after all.

Ah, life. Who knows what is will bring. It's wonderful because you don't have to worry about what will happen, even if you plan you can never predict. So go ahead and plan, but don't worry because what happens in your life really is not up to you, at least in the big picture. You may try at one thing while it lands you a job at another. I like this idea. It is exciting.

Finally, I watched "My Man Godfrey" starring William Powell and Carol Lombard (who, evidently, died soon after) It was the prime-time movie of the night so Robert Osborne said his piece about it. It was very good with some big names. Mostly I wanted to watch it because I had heard so much about it before and I thought it was my duty to watch it.

The plot:

William Powell, a "forgotten man" -aka a homeless man who lives under the bridge in a tent city- is taken in by a wealthy daughter to butle (i like this word) for the family. Interestingly, this family reminded me immensely of the Hilton sisters and the Kardashians. Who knew? They must have always existed and are not modern phenomena. He ends up being from a wealthy Boston family, lands back on his feet, provides inspiration for the family, leaves them and builds a community to house and support the other Forgotten men he lived with.

The plot was not as I suspected, but it was a good movie. And now I've seen it so I've enriched my film knowledge, and understanding of cultural references.

This is a good representation of the movie because the mother (on right) and the two daughters (one pictured in back) were really dumb, ignorant and spoiled characters.

***



tata

Canned on a Monday in January

Welp,
I'm back! My temp position at Rackham school of Graduate studies at the University of Michigan working with incoming transcripts in the mail room is officially over. I didn't like hanging on the edge there for the past few days. Now it's over, and besides how good it may or may not feel, I'm back on my feet as an aspiring auto-didact.

The question now is, what's first? Where do I begin? Where did I leave off? More importantly, what am I going to dedicate myself to? What will I work hard at? What will compel me to do such a thing? It's not natural for me, I've never committed myself to anything in my life. I'm sure there's some things, but there's nothing that laziness doesn't stand in the way of.

Baby steps, baby steps count to.
Here are some inspiring quotes I heard on the news today:

"Life isn't supposed to be easy, I'm not giving up, this is just another curve in the road," - Rahm Emanuel

"Always keep a healthy disregard for the impossible," - Larry Paige

Well, here are my immediate goals:
- DJ on wcbn
-knit a scarf or headband asap
-thread crochet (grandma just sent me a pattern book, and I am so excited to try it, I also have to buy the right size thread and hooks)
-_R_E_A_D!!
-big brother big sister program? I'm just afraid I can't commit myself for long enough, but I think I am going to try.
-fitness (bellydance wed. nights, strength training tues.)
-cooking
-sewing class
-computers class in the spring

More importantly, what will I do every day? I need a schedule, I want to be productive, but when you don't have something that you HAVE to do, it's so easy to just let yourself be comfy! This is the biggest problem that I have, aka laziness.

So my idea in fighting this is to get up at 6 or so and head into town by 8. Now, the biggest dilemma in this plan is eating. I do not want to eat out during my day meals, but it's so easy (not to mention tasty!). There is so much tasty and accessible food around. So I'm going to have to buy a nice lunch box (maybe I'll do that tonight) so I can bring snacks and lunch, and I'm going to have to get better at planning lunch ahead of time.

Further, once in town, where I cannot be a total bum (hopefully you won't see me pan-handling on the side walk; kick me if you do), what will I do? I think I will read for the most part, and write and explore. What I need is a studio where I can create. I guess I will also go to Dad's to sew, but I want to do the crocheting as I said before, and I want to practice accordion. I was doing really well at that for a while, but since I started my job i have hardly played at all. This is mostly because when I get home, well I'm tired, and mom wants to watch tv, and I don't want to annoy the neighbors.

So, lunchbox, recipes and ingredients, read, knit, exercise, explore. TV shouldn't have much of a place in the auto-didactism, but unfortunately, I'm about to settle myself down in front of it. I did work-out for an hour after work though, so I'm not being totally lazy!